Don't you Dare.

Don't you dare commit suicide.
Because there is a little 10 year old girl out there
Who is dying right now
Who is spending her last precious few hours
Praying
Praying to God to save her
So loud that the nurse passing
Stops
With her heart breaking
And listens until the sweet little voice fades into the sleep for the eternal.

So don't you dare.
Don't you dare throw away a life that the little girl could have had.
You may be going through some hard times
But suicide is permanent.
That little girl would have given everything to live.
Why would you give everything to death?

Gentle Anguish (Written in the beginning of year 7, 2012)

Endora

Period Three

August 29^th, 2012

Gentle Anguish

I am told I was born amidst an evasive, beautiful day in Seattle,

The December sun lighting my face.

I remember crying the night my dad left my mom,

Staring at an empty closet, like staring at what was left of the families’ soul.

I’ve learned that if you want to find true friends of any sort,

You must peel away layers of that person.

I have seen my friend’s shocked faces when I said I was moving to Santa Barbara,

Their horror making me able to mask my own excitement.

I’ve seen things that make me cringe,

 But even more things that make me smile

I’ve learned that even though some people laugh and tease at your expense,

True friends stand up for you, and that some of our best friends are ourselves, that sometimes we must not wait for a handsome prince to save us, but we have to be our own saviors.

I’ve sobbed in gentle anguish of dead pets,

Dead love, dead dreams.

I’ve seen my brother laugh in happiness,

Cry in sadness and fear,

And rule the hearts of everyone around him.

I’ve seen people who’s hearts are so broken and fractured, they almost throw themselves into the fire,

Seen even more golden hearts that have made everyone around them beam in joy.

I’ve learned to have true happiness; you must first have true sorrow.

Why?

Why can't anyone see?
This is not all of me.
I'm funny, I'm awkward,
I'm shy, I'm social,
I'm crazy, I'm calm,
Nothing about me is wrong!
Don't believe m, I dare you
I bet you thing I'm messed up too.
That I need to stop being this way
But **** you, this is how I'm going to stay
I have many friends, but I don't know why
It's just one of those secrets that once you know, you have to die.
I'm a mystery, a  freak,
All the things about me hide and sneak
So even I don't know what I hold,
Even though I am told.
So, try to find me in the clutter and dust
You'll only get in if you I completely trust.
No one before has braved the dark
So come on in, and try to make your mark.
-Endora of Mind

Scars

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

Scars- Papa Roach

Black

The crow sits high
And stares with their beady black eyes
The black flowers wilt; I do not care
Nor does the crow, with its beady lack stare
I taste the black blood ,
From the dead sky it rains
But only the dead black trees feel pain.
The children, long dead, lay on their backs
As the black blood blade goes snicker snack
Do I die if I open my black eyes?
For all I here are black blood cries
But the black sun blares and does blind me there
I smell its victory, thick in the air
And the lucid black smoke, it takes as disguise,
Does not compare to the open black skies
And if it is I shall die tonight,
Then let it be known the black crow will take flight.

-Jenna Carrisosa

Rain

Drip drop goes to rain,

On the overhead.

Tip tap goes the rain,

On the sloping ceiling.

Wish wash goes to rain,

In the overflowing bucket.

Tat tat goes the rain,

On the green canopy above.

Bang bang goes the thunder,

Waking me from this dream.

-Endora of Mind

When The Stars Fall

"When the stars fall,

Under the horizon of blankets,

My head gets heavy

As the silky moonlight touches my cheek 

Do I need to stay awake?

My journey to the heavens will begin soon

With my soul flying through the sky

An angel guards the gate to heaven

She is not real

Because she is is all that is good,

Everything that is good, was good, and will be good

The moment I believe her,

I return to the torture of day"

-Eli Nania

Synesthsethesia

I wrote this all for you to understand the way of synesthesia.
When you see an abstract painting you don't see the colors, you hear the orchestra. The blue violins wash over you, and the orange of the cello fill your ears.
As you listen to music, open up all your senses to it. Imagine that your skin is feeling the texture of each note as the music flows through you. Your nose is smelling the flavor of the music, and your mouth is drinking in the tone. While you do this visualize colors swirling around you in brilliant hues as the music is played. Let the
music sweep through all of your senses. Use your powers of being kinesthetic and move
your hands and body if you want to.
If you can't remember, write down what each note smells, tastes and feels like in emotional way. In this way, your body can fuse the senses together for the right brain's musical experience. With practice, the synesthetic way of SSS listening SSS to music will eventually take you over.
To practice you can play different notes on an instrument and interpret if each note resembles sweet, bitter, sour or tangy.
In the future when your eating something, don't remember what it tasted like, that part is useless. Instead remember where you are, the things you were looking at and listening to.
After you have worked with this a while, the synesthesia way of listening, tasting, hearing, and even seeing things will come into your life and make everything way more enjoyable.

-Allison (Apple) Russo
(I know it's not a poem and its very long but I really was moved. It was like poetry.)

The Garden In My Mind

The garden in my mind
Is the place to go,
But I am the only one there.

Dressed all in white,
From my long wavy white hair,
To the white Mary Janes and white tights,
To the milkiness of my cool skin,
I am the one without color.

To the garden,
I open the old wooden gate,
And walk to the right,
Where my two willow tress and my swing wait for me.

It was at first all white,
A big room with nothing,
But then their was more,
A room, there was no more.

I don't know what my garden holds,
But I do know,
That I will find out.

-Endora of Mind

Dying Flower

Petals dropping,
Floating,
Flying away,
Leaving the dying flower alone,
Cold,
Naked.

The flower bends under the horrible winds,
Bending,
Breaking,
Dying.

No one sees it,
It's alone in its meadow.

All it knows,
Is that its seeds were planted,
So it
Could live,
Again.

-Endora of Mind

What Is Song But Sung Poetry?

What is song but sung poetry?
A web of notes?
A pool of music?

Something to dance to,
To listen to,
To sing along with,
To feel.

What is song but sung poetry?
A sea of instruments?
A tornado of words?

Something to touch,
To know,
To live.

What is song but sung poetry?

-Endora of Mind

The Wolf

He howled,
Howled,
Howled,
He howled at the yellow moon.

He ran,
Ran,
Ran,
He ran with the wind.

He ate,
Ate,
Ate,
He ate with his pack.

He cared,
Cared,
Cared,
He cared for his cubs.

He died,
Died,
Died,
He died at the sound of a gun.

-Endora of Mind

He

Butterflies pounding, pounding in my stomach,

Heart beating to the beat of their wings,

Blood rushed to my head from the beat,

I see him.

He is loud, adorable, amazing, 

He is the one who makes my head spin,

He is the one who catches my breath,

He is the one who doesn't seem to notice.

I am the one in black, 

Barely able to speak two words to him,

But is able to smile at his jokes while others are groaning.

I am the one who is awkward and quiet,

And I am the one with the shyness issue.

Except for when I'm around,

His loudness quiets,

His eyes fall downwards,

His shoes get interesting.

And I can't tell if that

Is a good thing, 

Or a bad.

-Endora of Mind

Love

Love is a cruel thing.
It is both simple and intricate.
Big and small
Given back or unrequited.

But the thing is,
No one can stop love.
No one can "fix it".
No one can  destroy love.

It lives inside you,
In the pit of your stomach,
And unleashes its power when you see someone,
Talk to someone,
Hear someone.

Love comes in all sizes.
Big and small.
It destroys you,
And either makes you better,
Or makes you fall.
Apart.

It makes you stupid.
You can't TALK to the person you like.
You can't LOOK them in the eye.
You can't be NEAR them without having the symptoms.

Nausea,
Butterflies,
Headaches,
Heartbreaks,
Blood rushing to your head,
Loss of breath,
And severe brain damage can be symptoms.

No doctor can help.
Nor any medicine or therapist.
There is only one cure.

When you love someone,
Your heart is literally in their hands.
And it depends on them
If they want to rip it into shreds,
Or protect it with their own.

-Endora of Mind

Flower

a seed

was something small

just something small

but it was so full

of hope

watered by naïve innocence

so full

of hope

it sprouted

so full

of hope

it opened its leaves

to the heavens

and the heavens

shone down

on the sprout

so full

of hope

it bloomed

now a flower

blossoming in the warm sun

it drank in the smells

of life and friendship

and sighed in warmth of the sun

so full

of hope
and that flower

it felt the weight of a butterfly

and knew

about the circle of life

around and around

forever going

so full

of hope

and it scattered its seeds

to the earth

and they fell

so full

of hope

and those seeds

they flew

and the flower

it knew

to wilt and die

but yet it stayed

so full

of hope

and one seed that flew

was something small

just something small

but it was so full

of hope

and that seed knew

one day

it would sprout

there it would bloom
and feel the butterfly

and wilt

and die and to live again
so full

of hope

-Chloe Chou

Every Door is Slammed

Every door is slammed shut with the force of a door forced open at the end of the hallway,

One that was never meant to be opened again

Each time someone doesn't answer-

A door,

An email,

A text,

Feels like another one shut and locked 

Bang

Bang 

Bang 

They go, 

Riddling my broken heart with only more holes

Bang,

Bang,

Bang,

They go,

Leaving my chest an open void

-Endora of Mind

Nature's Call

The earth is calling me.

I run with the wind,

Race with the bees,

Call with the wolves.

The trees are calling me.

I sit on the branches

Eating their fruit

Hidden forever in their leaves

The sky is calling me.

I lay on the grass

Night and day

Watching the clouds float on lazily by

The moon is calling me.

I walk outside,

Lay upon the moon soaked grass,

And gaze for hours

The stars are calling me,

They shine through the ones I love

As much as they do in the sky

The birds are calling me.

Luring me out with their sweet songs

I sit upon the dew soaked grass

Gazing about in wonder

The winds are calling me.

Beckoning,

Pushing me along with his cool feathers of wind

The sun is calling me,

 Waking me up on the mornings brow

Embracing me in its tight, warm, rays of light.

-Endora of Mind

They Don't Know

They don’t know

That just because I wear black,

And that I act tough,

That I’m not creepy,

That I have a heart

They don’t know

That I feel pain

That I watch the stars

That I feel love

That I enjoy the little things

They don’t know

That I’m different

That I’m not a freak

They don’t know that we are the same

They don’t know

That when they try to shut me out,

Try to treat me different,

Think they are better,

They don’t know that they shut a door

That they don’t know what’s behind it

-Endora of Mind

Visible Layers

Visible layers are not always who the person is,

Sometimes, a single thought,

A strong thought,

Can turn a dark night,

Into a beautiful day

The future is deserved for passion,

But don’t let quick moments decide leaders.

Luminosity evolves into miracles,

So don’t forget,

Don’t let luminosity take your breath

Decay, hurt, and lies may feel brilliantly,

But visible layers are not always who you are

Now you know,

It’s your chance,

If you’re willing.

-Endora of Mind

Lost In Moments (written for english class)

The smell of the polished floors,

The soft thump of those,

Twirling

Swirling,

Spiraling,

In a graceful flutter

I danced,

I swayed,

I turned,

And I learned,

We practiced and practiced,

Until it was the day

The excitement that came

On that perfect day

The day where we could

Just float away

Lost in the music,

Lost in the sway

Moving

Twirling

Swirling

Away.

-Endora of Mind

Sunlight

Sunlight pouring through my soul,

Filling up what you stole,

Moonbeams lighting up my world,

Gleaming off the silver snow

Your spirit leaving, time to go

-Sunlight by Endora Of Mind

Laugh

I will not be afraid.

I will hold my head up high,

To look danger in the eye

And I will laugh

I will laugh with the bravery of a lion,

The wisdom of an owl,

The heart of an ox,

And I will just sit there,

And laugh.

-Laugh by Endora Of Mind

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

A Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.